I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
