party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
