Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
