let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
