Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
