when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
