Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
