This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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