my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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