need another drink. this is the easiest way
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
