The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
