Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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