You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
