My balls are so social today.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
