i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize