Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So vagazzling was a success
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
