i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
