I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
there is puke in my bra ... again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
