I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
