My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
