just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
