He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
