Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
