So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
smell my finger.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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