Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
