You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
