i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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