Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
