hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just had sex on a roof
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
