im about as happy as oj after his trial
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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