this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
