I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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