hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
