i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
