we have officially lost it.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
