Sponge bath it is.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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