Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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