either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish you could order shots online.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
