do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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