It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
