i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
