I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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