I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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