1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Randomize
