Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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