So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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