Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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