Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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