Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
