i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
