dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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