You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
