let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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