Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
