told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just pee around me
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
