you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
