Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
