Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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