Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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