Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
